Joshua

so i have not been writign like i planed but i guess its alrght because i am getting to it now. so i have a sorta date with Laura tomorow. most would call it a date but she dosent seem to see it that way. i work in oh six hours meaning i will get up in five. but then its goign to be a good day. i have an exam due on tuesday in my ls370 then there is a writen part but it shoudl be alright. wednesday i have an exam in my biochem class which is goig to be hard and i need to study for but i will manage to get through it. well till next time, have a good time.

~Joshua

Friend at work told me this and i thoguht it was cool.

This guy is in his town when the river starts to flood. He goes outside and watches the water rise to his waist, a boat come to him and says get in, I will take you to safety. And the guy replies, no, God will save me and the boat leaves. As the water reaches his nose a second boat spots him and goes to him and says get in, I will take you to safety. Again the man replies no, God will save me. So the water continues to rise and as he is on his roof with the water to his neck a helicopter flies overhead and lowers a basket, over a speaker the pilot says get in the basket and we will fly you to safety. Again the man says no, God will save me. As the water passes his head and he drowns he reaches the gates of heaven. When he sees God he asks, why did you not save me? And God told him, I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?

it comes when you least expect it, i was realy happy at work yesterday and everything just fell apart lastnight, i cut again and experimented with burning, its not as easy as cutting but it hurts and with the conditions of my hands its not noticable. i am sorry to everyoen that i let down with that but im not even sure who to turn to anymore and im not gogin to bring anyone down with me anymore. also means that i may nto talk to anyone lately. have a good day
Joshua

Sorry it took two days to get to the point I could write this down but it has been a busy few days and first I had to post pictures to my facebook.. so I think many heard that I was asked to be in the procession of late president ford on Tuesday, I hesitated after saying yes but found that it was an experience I will not forget. It was more solemn for me than I thought, we got there about 3 (downtown in front of the museum) and ended up standing outside with coats on for probably 30-40 minutes before they made us take our coats off and then it felt cold after a few minutes. So we stayed like that for at least 30 minutes and then we stood at attention and saluting every car in the procession then we stood around longer waiting for President Carter, Vice President Cheney, and the family to finish viewing and leave before they started to let us in. Then we waited for what felt like forever to actually get in and that’s when the disappointment started for me. They just hurried us through as though they did not want us there or we were not that important. I know there are a lot of people to get through but the least they can do is show a little more respect for the 200 people who came on his request and stood saluting him in the cold weather outside. And I am not asking to much to be able to salute him inside the building in my opinion. After we finished it was not bad at all, I really did enjoy it, and it will be something I will never forget. It was definitely worth the four hours I spent in the cold weather.

Rest in peace President Ford
Thank you for all you did for our country.

Another year has passed, where did it go!? It was a long day, 10.5 hours at work starting at 6am, I didn’t go to bed till like 1am and so I was a little tired, my boss and I are getting on each others nerves, he is trying to be funny and it’s just annoying to everyone else. We have inventory tomorrow, that’s just going to be a blast, I am supposed to be done at 430 but I know I will be there later than that.
on the bright side, I got my new shoes, not that I needed them but they were a Christmas gift so I cant really turn them down, and they are pretty good street shoes. My boss is changing the schedule so I can go to church so that’s awesome; it also allows me to stay regular part time rather than falling to casual part time.
I want to thank everyone for a wonderful 2006.

God bless,
Joshua

so i am goign to make this quick. i worked from 6am till 3pm, then went to my sisters b-day party where she had four of her friends over. they are all 11 and very hyper, well the asian girl was fairly calm but the rest were hyper and one was especialy hyper and was tryign to take my brothers sweatshirt and she woudl hit and kick and i got kicked in the head, where i already had a goose-egg so that hurt like noother. played a version of spoons, played wiht partners. adn then i watched a football game. so thats the short version, if i feel better tomorow you might get the long version.
god bless
Joshua

ps. i have not goten to writing a lefty journal, but i did eat half of dinner wiht my left and and its not bad, not very comfortable but i managed and did very well i thought.

Wow, so I was late for work a second time in a week yesterday. Then I left an hour and a half late, so 1030 went home ate and went to bed. so that was about midnight, then I got up at 430 this morning to be to work at 6am boy was that fun, then I was supposed to get done at 2 but my boss kept me till almost three! Oh I wanted to go home at two so bad. I hit my head on a shelf and went to get up but fell backwards on the floor, and now I have a bump there. I have to be there at 6am again tomorrow and also on Sunday, wow wont that be fun! for the most part I like my job so I will not complain, I just hope things go well for a while and I should talk to my manager about working open all weekend, I am really starting to miss church and cant go unless I open sat. Or close Sunday. So hopefully I can get that worked out. Mom yelled at me today because I hadn’t called the woman about fords funeral, as if I need to hear that at work today! I did go over tonight and talk to her and things went well so it wasn’t all bad.

God Bless
Joshua

sorry i have not posted in a long long time, i am goign to try and be more constant with that and hope everyone continues to read it.

so christmas eve sucked, my mom was pissed that we wanted to spend time with dad and so i heard that from 11-2am, then we got in a huge fight christmas morning and i walked out. i cried for an hour after that. i know i was kinda wrong todo that but it was a picture! i got my grade x-mas eve, A, A-, 2C+. so not to bad but i know i can do better. i feel a lot better, even after the fight i cried more than i normaly do, however i did not cut, took a very hot shower but i was fine this morning so its all good i guess. i had today off and got in a fight with my mom and then with grandma over stupid stuff. grandma wont watch my brother and sister (7&9) because they are to hard to watch. she watches my aunts kids all the time, (5&5&3). so yea that was kinda frustrating. my mom complains abotu the house being cluttered all the time and then this show was talkign to a mom with ten kids and askign how she does it and all my mom can do is make excuses as to why that mom can do it and she cant. so we got in a fight cuz i told her if she stoped makign excuses she coudl do it. yea stupid i know.

on the positive side i love my new monitor, and my ipod is now workign good so YAY! i got some clothes from dad, and some other little thigns for my ipod from mom. i guess it was a fairly good christmas. karioke was awsome at the christmas party, i started off hesitating but was relaxed at the end. well i work for the rest of the week so i hope it goes well. new years day is goign to suck but il get over it.

i hope everyone had a wonderfull Christmas.

Joshua

i think this is a bit off, there is a lot that they don't ask that would be nerdy, and just because i did not do marching band wait, i am on the wrong side here, thats right i am not very nerdy. lol

You Are 60% Nerdy

You may be a bit surprised with this score, but your more of a closet nerd than an actual nerd. Stop denying your inner nerd! You're truly dorkier than you think.

So i got out of work and was amazed that her mom had got out on her flight so we had the house to ourselves last night which was awesome, we had a good time, put up the tree at about midnight, yes it was late but it was actually very fun. so then she was tired and so we put in a movie and started to watch that and things kinda went south from there, she did not really cuddle or anything and she kept moving so her back was to me, and after the movie she rolled over on the futon and faced away from me and kinda pushed me away, so i got up to go home and she was saying she was not kicking me out but i sure felt like it. then she decided to goto her bed but offered me the futon or sofa and i said goodnight , got my stuff together and left. i would have stayed but i hoped to cuddle, i don't live far away so if i am going to spend the night alone i might as well do it in my own bed. so i went home, cried and went to sleep. it was a really good sleep also till the light shined in bright through the window.
Joshua

ps. i like the spellcheck on here now, it sjust like word
pss. sorry its been so long since i wrote last.

Have I said physics sucks before? that test question that he posted I spent two hours on and am very scared to put in my answers, I am not sure if they are what I am supposed to-do or not. The hints are worthless and who know what’s going on in the class. Yea I looked like a fool today I was trying to keep up in the notes and he hands me the wheel and I hadn’t paid close attention to him talking so I looked like an idiot, oh well I guess. I don’t think many people were really paying attention. as far as most other things go life is moving fine, I just remembered I was supposed to call central high and I forgot, they don’t have a voicemail center so I was supposed to call at 245-300 and I totally forgot till 830 I am screwed for this project! Diversity in Ed sucks too, just because I am in class all morning and don’t have the ability to get much done outside of class unless it’s late at night. I am interested in a girl that is actually talking to me now, I was surprised but then again it’s probably going to stay just the way it is now, that’s how it normally goes. Oh well, that’s life. Till I decide to write again I guess.
God Bless
Joshua

my physics prof is kinda talkign to me, its a move forward from where it was before, though i am going to lose my physics study session cuz he wants to make it an hour earlier when i am in class. how stupid is that!? not sure abotu quant anymore, still very interested but hating the prof just as much.
work has been going well. my boss is talkign to me about my ex that i was workgint hings out with, i guess shes giving a few different stories and his makes a lot more sence with hers than either of them make on their own. i think shes just figuring il come back to her when shes ready for a b/f and im not going to i have to work up the courage to call her and tell her like its going to be, if shes going to work on it lets work on it otherwise i am not a yoyo, i dont want to be treated like it and she has to decide if were going to be a couple or not, i dont want anymore of this well i think she should jsut be friends for a while and then when were together i liek you and kiss, it dosent make sence. and she refuses to openup and talk to me, but at least shes admiting shes not talkign to me abotu things but if she wants something to change she has t talk to me. the idea of slowign down and minunderstanding what i am sayign about an acceptable relationship with another guy is somethign that she shoudl say soemthign if i havent been crystal clear. i figrue she can be friends wiht anyone she wants, but if she has romantic feelings for him i dont want to her about them all the time and i would like her to get over pete, becasue she had a crush on pete. but oh well i guess. i will figure things out.
my wrist has been poping lately and i cut on wednesday, friday was kinda scarry, i dident want [people to realise i cut at work. i tried to hide it at schoolw ith a wrist wrap and my wrist honestly kepts poping so it wasent realy a lie jsut a nice coincidense. and i am very cold in my room even though it s72 degrees. well haev a good night everyone, im soryr its been so long since i wrote, i will try to get on here more frequently.
God bless,
Joshua

alright so my ex finaly got back with me and now isnt sure because she likes my boss, they have been friends for two years! if hes interested in her why cant he have said somethign before, and if hes not then why does she have to start this now? or why is she so unsure? im nto sure if i shoudl confront him abotu it or not because i dont know how much he knows abotu her feelings. i want this to stay a friends thing and i know i refer to him as a boss because he is but i dont want the boss card being used here. work is work, this is personal stuff and i want them to stay separate. if anyone has comments or sugestions they woudl be appreciated.
Joshua

Wow, what a start to my week, last week was hell, this week is going to make up for it, no tests and I feel great. um, all i can say at the moment is that a girl plays a part in it but I promised not to spread it around to people so no name in here for now till she’s ok with it, if you want to know ask and i will probably tell you. Work went by so fast yesterday and then I went out with friends accomplished almost nothing but I enjoyed myself for once. And that’s what’s really important; I am going to run spell check on this for Tamika because she says it’s hard to read so hope it’s a little easier today. My pda crashed again, thank God I had everything backed up so I just reset it, and I have to change the power settings so that the battery doesn’t die so fast I think. My diversity in Ed class was cool today, we had these learning paragraphs that it was something simple but it was written so you didn’t know what it was talking about. You had to have prior knowledge to get it which I didn’t have. So that was eye opening. I hope everyone enjoys the day, it has been beautiful out today and I can’t complain one bit about this kind of weather!
God Bless
Joshua

So, its thurseday and wow! Its been a b*tch! I mostlikely failed my physics exam, skipped my computers in education class to study and do homework for physics. Im going to look into housing at GVSU for next year, im not realy sure I can afford it but i am going to try. Kriss has bben a huge help, shes basicaly teaching me the physics. I hate the prof. I went to complain but the dept. Head was gone at 630, not a suprise realy but i hoped i could complain right away. I have a tendency to put things off and never get to them. On the bright side im not suicidal so thats great. Yea, sounds silly but rarely am i so in the dumps and not getting irrational.

Its been awhile since I wrote and its been an interesting week thus far. my pda crashed and so i lost everything that was on it.
I realy hate physics, even mike is confused and he likws it! Its insane. Ifelt a little better hearing kris say this stuff is depressing her because i have felt that way for a whilebut i am dealimg with depresion as it is so i feel like its just me a lot. So tonight were working a problem in classs and have the same one in our homework so i did it as did kris, we got the same answer and it was not correct.
Other than school life is going well. Work is stressfull but its not misserable anymore. One guy quit yesterday and is suposed to work four nights this week so the mgr. Is scrambling to find people to work the hours. I am probably going too offer to work 12-4 on sat. B/c i work at 4 but itts betterthan nothing.

so i droped my qant class, feels like a million pounds jsut melted away, im still goign to classes and everythign but i wont get a grade for it. i am goign to retake it next semester and so i had to drop human sexuality which im goign to take whenever kris gets a chance to next year. kris has gotten to be a relay good friend, very helpfull and suportive of me, and so has my mom. i realy dont knwo why we are gettign along so well now but its realy nice to feel liek she cares for once. i jsut try to pray to god everyngiht and have faith that he will make thigns work out for me. i tried to call glenda tongiht and dident get an answer, it went to a machine. i hoped we coudl work things out cuz i still like her a little and ehatnot but who knows. her mom was going to move away so that gets rid of my biggest problem right there. well im goign to bed so good night
god bless socks!
Joshua

well i am failing one class andd strugling in anothe. a few are going well but they are eay and not in my major. i have met some realy nice people who have been helping me through things. my doc has been playing with my meds again and i got to the point im not taking anything again. for the first time in four years i went to the disabilities office, which realy sucks, i dont like feeling like i am special or different, i want to be like everyone else but i cant do what they can and i guess the harder classes make it aparent along with a prof who hasent been very open abotu anything. my mom and i have goten closer and were talking on fairly good terms if you concider everything. my grandparents are not gettign along with me again but whatever. its been like two weeks since mom has yelled at me or anythign and we have been talkign quite a bit and shes helpign me with the doctors and insurance stuff and were talkign abotu the financial aid papers which any of my friends know has been an issue of fights for a logn time so yea thigns are geting better, im calling part of this semester a wash but who knows things may still turn out alright.
Joshua

alright so i was on for like 15 minutes and decided i wasent feeling well that i would goto bed and get up at ten so i coudl talk to my girl since she gets on around ten, well i went to bed and managed to wake up at 430, now what am i suposed todo!? i missed talkign to her and now im up alone in the house and i have only killed 50 minutes. man its boring to be up at 430 in the morning. i dont work today and depending how i feel at 1 i may or maynot call for an assignment tonight. yea i work nights for a temp service, its easy work, check my brain at the door and get paid well. i guess well is relative, its a good pay for being unskilled work. funny thing is noone ever responds to my posts and im not sure anyone even reads them! for anyone that hasent heard im getting an ipaq (pda by compaq) im excited. yes i am a geek so what! in other news i dont open anymore this week and i have today friday and saturday off my main job. the hours are going down the tube but with school things should work out alright.
i might be able to have fish soon, grandpa talked grandma into brining up the tank from the basement to have fish so if he can have them she cant realy say that i cant have a small tank with a few. thats my hope at least. downside is that as long as grandpa can use the tank i wont get it when i move out and were not goign to talk abotu that cuz who knows when thats happening or where i will move too.

alright so im on this high that just wont go away, only reason i want it to go away is cuz im gona crash soemtime but i guess for now il stay hi. Tamika and i are back together yay althoguth i think shes the only one that reads this so its nothing new to her but maybe when i go and read this in a long time it will be neat to me. so um yea i dono what else to say other than work sucks and i want to quit but i need the job and the money and its not my job that i hate its doing everyone elses around me who feel that they deserve it or seomthing. il give you the shirt off my back, but the least you can do is thank me ya know.but no i help you and get bitched for it, or i give you my stuff to use and you make me clean it cuz il get in trouble if its left a mess. grr, not ment to anyone that reads this i am sure but i had to vent my frustration so maybe this high will last a little longer.
love
Joshua

ps. god bless you all